I remember when back in the day, Deus Ex and Golden Eye's blocky graphics were considered revolutionary and realistic graphics. I look at Deus Ex now and squint every time I see their facial movements.
But when I talk about realistic games, I don't mean realistic graphics, because apparently graphics are what make games nowadays. If this were the case, Battlefield would be the fucking best game of all time, with it's high-tech beauty and fucking awful, hand-holding, on-rails shite-hole of a campaign.
No.
When I speak of realistic games, I talk about games that you can do in real fucking life.
This is why I could never understand sports games, or racing games, or Simulation games or even to a lesser extent, most modern shooter games.
If I wanted to kick a fucking ball, I wouldn't drool at a screen whilst pressing the circle button on my PS3 game-pad and occasionally even the triangle button to try and score a goal. I would grab a football from my back garden, grab some friends and go to the park to have a kick about.
If I wanted to watch men kick a ball, I would watch a football game on the telly, or buy some tickets to a match.
That is simple FREE entertainment. I don't get why people play a sports game, when you could easily have 10 times as much fun doing it for real, even if you have the skill level of retarded monkey faeces.
You could argue that you have more fun playing a football game than watching one. This can sometimes be true, however, there is a lot more excitement behind every goal. You are not in control of your favourite players and you are watching people completely alien to you succeed or fail.
It's the uncertainty and the excitement that makes it more enjoyable, not pressing the fucking triangle button.
Then you have driving games. Unless you have the driving simulators in some arcades that throw you around when you spin out, then driving games are just dull, pointless wastes of time. (I speak of course about the ones where you just drive around a boring set track, when you throw interesting stuff in then that's ok). Once again, you can do this in real life. Last time I remember, Silverstone hosts an open day every weekend, where you can take your own car and race it around a track against other people. Is it really so fucking hard to find one of those, there are like 5 in my local area, one being an off-road one. You could also go Go-Karting, or Quad-Biking or some other third thing. Yes, you could agree that these are too expensive, but I find it so much more satisfying to overtake someone in real life and feel smug about yourself, than overtake a computer AI or an on-line player.
THEN. You have The Sims. What kind of fucking pathetic prick thought of this game. It's a LIFE SIMULATOR! You know what you do in that game? You live! Why the fuck do I want to play a computer game where I have to pay taxes, or go to work, or do homework or break up with my girlfriend. I HAVE TO DO THAT SHIT IN REAL LIFE! What kind of fuckface, thinks that I want to play a simulator of the same, boring, degrading shit that makes my life a misery?
But I digress. You can find some good simulator games. Like....
....
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Fuck it, simulator games can die in a sodding hole.
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