The Meta Game (The Cutting of Cookies)

The Meta Game is the definitive strategy, build or method that people use in a game in order to achieve maximised potential and exceed at the game. These "Cookie Cutter" strict builds are used by players in order to achieve maximum damage, healing, defence, or wins.
Of course, this blog wouldn't be called the Annoying Truth if I was praising Cookie Cutter builds. Oh no... I am going to talk about why the Meta Game is fucking boring!

Now I'm gonna start off by saying that it's not cookie cutter builds that piss me off. I follow a few in order to output a large amount of damage or in order to get a good build order in the start of a SC2 game. What pisses me off, is when people follow them to the fucking point.

Like, why would you follow someone else's build for a champion in LoL that works for THEM. Like sure, you can use the same masteries and runes, but you need to revolve your game play around the game at the time. Like you wouldn't follow his guide that was full of magic resist, against a team of fighter classes. 

Then you get the people, who are just boring and use the same, linear strategy all the damn time. I see this particularly in Terran players in Starcraft 2. They will go either Mass Marines, or Marauder/Marine/Siege-Tank combos. It gets so boring for me, when I'm playing Protoss or Zerg, and they've done standard wall off, standard build order and standard unit composition. Guaranteed, if I used any flying units (Mutalisks muahahaha) their pathetic, simple Terran minds would go "OMG THEY FLAY! WTF?!?!?".

It's why I like WhiteRa as a player, he doesn't follow cookie cutter builds and likes to use special strategies that surprise the enemy because of it's anti-normality. 

It's why one time when I had a MASSIVE influx of minerals, I decided to wall off my base with Hatcheries. That way I could hatch up a lot of lava, defend my base and because I was using mutalisks and Ventral Sac'd Overlords, I completely surprised him, destroying his army and base while he was trying to comprehend why a Zerg player would wall off. (I like to incorporate strategies from other races)

I also like to incorporate this odd, combination strategy into games like Guild Wars. I confuse so many people in PvP when I run in with my warrior. Start to hit them with my totem axe and suddenly start to cast fire magic spells at them. Battle-mage ftw!

Whilst everyone is spamming their GW-PvX Meta builds, I am running in head first, hitting people with my weapons and casting spells at them right in front of them. 

Concluding, there's not really much to talk about. Cookie cutter builds are fine, you can use them all you want. Just add your own fucking spin to it that makes it work for you. Otherwise you just get converted to a herd mind that blindly follow other people.

Call of Duty

Well... it was bound to happen. Call of Duty. Call. of FUCKING Duty. The SINGLE worst thing to happen to the world of video games, since Deus Ex: Invisible War.
Now let me start off by saying. Call of Duty isn't that bad a game. As a source for being a game.
It stops there. Every other thing about the game is a bloody reason for me to rage for hours on end.

First let's start with the people. Now you may have seen in a previous blog post. People suck! But the people from Call of Duty's so called "Community" are even worse.
Now I hate to categorise people, because from what I've seen categorisation of people is only done by racists, chavs, bimbos and the media. (I just realise that I have just categorised people that categorise so I guess that I fall under the media section).
These people go as follows.

1. Kids - People under the age of 13 or have the mental age of someone under 13 (Excluding child geniuses) That frequently spam mic chat, annoy you and make you wonder what kind of parent would by a game where you can literally impale someone's face with an axe. (There's an 18 rating for a reason)
2. Pros/Elitists - You usually get the first sort on any and every game, people that are nigh-on perfect at the game, scoring 100/1 K/D, knowing all the maps like the back of their hand and not letting you be five seconds into the game without killing you again. Then you get the second sort, people that aren't usually that good, yet yell at their entire team for doing badly, when it's usually them that are doing worst.
3. Chavs - From my experience, nearly every person that I have seen in my area that greats people by saying "OI BRUV!", wears the waistband of their jogging bottoms around their knees and tends to walk with a bopping motion. These people piss me off the most, they tend to be like the elitists of real life. Apparently if you play any game other than Call of Duty, then you are sad. And if you haven't reached Prestige "X" and don't play religiously, then you are inferior or shite at the game. I have lived in England too long to even consider these sort of people "People".
4. Fanboys - Usually comprise of all 3 of the above. These people will literally throw their lives away at the game, and defend the game's franchise and the people who make or publish it to the ends of the Earth, I usually treat these people in the same way I do Religious Fundamentalists. Saying what they do is bull-shit, disprove their arguement by literally steamrolling what they have come to worship and then slam my door in their face. Damn JeCodvah's Witnesses. -_-

Then you have the fact that a Call of Duty game is released annually, hell sometimes a new CoD game is announced mere months after the previous one was brought out. So all the things you did in the past CoD game doesn't count for shit.
Now this may be just me, but I like growing up my account in a game, and I love keeping the account saying "Hey, I've gotten to "X" level with "X" achievements." I feel fulfilled by doing so, and hence that keeps me playing. This is why I don't play any other MOBA game than League of Legends, this is why I only play one MMO at any one time, this is why I spend BIG chuncks of time on one toon rather than jumping from character to character.

It seems that this is what Call of Duty players see in it.
Mindless Zombie 1: "HAI GUYZ! I GOT FINAL LEVEL OV 10TH PRESTIGE!!111!!oneone!!!1"
Mindless Zombie 2: "LOOOOL NOOOB! THAT OLD GAME! I GOT THAT IN NEW GAME JUST NOW!"
Mindless Zombie 3: "LOOL! UR ALL TOOAL NOOOOBS! I GOT THAT ONE FIRST DAY IN NEW GAME AND I HAVE EVERY TROPHY ON PSN AND ALL 1000 GAMERSCORE ON XBOX!"
Mindless Zombie 4: "BOOBIES!"
Mindless Zombie 5: "MAP PACK COMING OUT TOMORROW! JIZZZZ TAKE MAH MONEHZ!"
Normal Person 1: "I don't know why you guys are talking like this, I prefer playing Battlefield considering it doesn't release a new game every year and doesn't try to milk it's fanba...."
Mindless Zombies: "NOOOOOOOOB GTFO!"

Every bloody year we get a new one of these things, with 5 map packs each year that all seem to cost a ton, on top of the damn game. What's worse is, as soon as the new game comes out, the players don't even acknowledge the old game. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. However...

This is my BIG MASSIVE FUCKING PROBLEM about Call of Duty games. A new game comes out every year, made by two different companies. So each company has 2 years to come up with a new Call of Duty game. You'd think they would add something game breaking and innovative in this time?
HELL NO! They add new kill-streaks, a few new maps and another shitty, movie-like campaign.

Mindless Zombie 1: "BUT ZAMROS! THESE ARE NEW THINGS!"

NO THEY FUCKING AREN'T! New things are something that is completely new and gamebreaking, when I saw that character customisation was in a Call of Duty game (I can't remember which) I thought, "Hey cool, they're actually adding something kind of new" but that was it apprently.
Call of Duty releases, fundamentally the same god-damn, shite covered, linear, aweful game every goddamn year.

Hell, even the bloody textures and graphics in MW3 are the same as MW2! A game that came out 2 years ago! I thought that Infinity Ward must have a decent art department considering that they are funded by Activision (Fucking) Blizzard. They might do, but they must be the laziest excuse for game artists I ever knew!

Long story short. Don't buy CoD. Let it die.
And to all the people that play Call of Duty:
"Go back to Runescape, you were much less annoying with your doinky swords than your doinky guns!"

P.S.
Dear Santa.

A lot of people ask for material posessions for Christmas.
But I don't.
I just want one thing for Christmas.
One thing that will make the world better for everyone, not just me.
Can you please give anyone that plays Call of Duty religiously and the Infinity Ward offices the gift of a FUCKING BOMB!

All my love:
Zamros....

Realistic Games

I can't believe the amount of people nowadays that use the term "unrealistic" when criticising a game.
I remember when back in the day, Deus Ex and Golden Eye's blocky graphics were considered revolutionary and realistic graphics. I look at Deus Ex now and squint every time I see their facial movements.
But when I talk about realistic games, I don't mean realistic graphics, because apparently graphics are what make games nowadays. If this were the case, Battlefield would be the fucking best game of all time, with it's high-tech beauty and fucking awful, hand-holding, on-rails shite-hole of a campaign.

No.

When I speak of realistic games, I talk about games that you can do in real fucking life.

This is why I could never understand sports games, or racing games, or Simulation games or even to a lesser extent, most modern shooter games.

If I wanted to kick a fucking ball, I wouldn't drool at a screen whilst pressing the circle button on my PS3 game-pad  and occasionally even the triangle button to try and score a goal. I would grab a football from my back garden, grab some friends and go to the park to have a kick about.

If I wanted to watch men kick a ball, I would watch a football game on the telly, or buy some tickets to a match.

That is simple FREE entertainment. I don't get why people play a sports game, when you could easily have 10 times as much fun doing it for real, even if you have the skill level of retarded monkey faeces. 

You could argue that you have more fun playing a football game than watching one. This can sometimes be true, however, there is a lot more excitement behind every goal. You are not in control of your favourite players and you are watching people completely alien to you succeed or fail.

It's the uncertainty and the excitement that makes it more enjoyable, not pressing the fucking triangle button.

Then you have driving games. Unless you have the driving simulators in some arcades that throw you around when you spin out, then driving games are just dull, pointless wastes of time. (I speak of course about the ones where you just drive around a boring set track, when you throw interesting stuff in then that's ok). Once again, you can do this in real life. Last time I remember, Silverstone hosts an open day every weekend, where you can take your own car and race it around a track against other people. Is it really so fucking hard to find one of those, there are like 5 in my local area, one being an off-road one. You could also go Go-Karting, or Quad-Biking or some other third thing. Yes, you could agree that these are too expensive, but I find it so much more satisfying to overtake someone in real life and feel smug about yourself, than overtake a computer AI or an on-line player. 

THEN. You have The Sims. What kind of fucking pathetic prick thought of this game. It's a LIFE SIMULATOR! You know what you do in that game? You live! Why the fuck do I want to play a computer game where I have to pay taxes, or go to work, or do homework or break up with my girlfriend. I HAVE TO DO THAT SHIT IN REAL LIFE! What kind of fuckface, thinks that I want to play a simulator of the same, boring, degrading shit that makes my life a misery?

But I digress. You can find some good simulator games. Like....

....

....

Fuck it, simulator games can die in a sodding hole.